(If this is your first visit, please start with: How I Met My Father Pt. 1)
I gave up on searching for a long time. I couldn’t bare the fact that the bar was more important. If that was the case, why would he want anything to do with me now.
When I was pregnant with my 2nd daughter, the show “Find My Family” came on ABC. I vowed not to watch it. Because every time I read something where people where reunited with family they had never met, I hated them.
Well, foolish me, we watched the first episode anyway. I cried.
And Cried. And Cried. And Cried.
And I hated the girl meeting her father for the first time ever. I hated her. I hated her for being able to have this opportunity.
I hated her for being so lucky.
Larry had told me to go to the computer and print out the application to apply to be on the show. So, I trudged to the basement, turned on the computer, while still balling my eyes out. I went to ABC’s website and started at the print button for the application. Eventually I hit print and I was baffled at the 13 page application.
After it printed, I started to fill it out. The information they wanted was more than I thought they would ask for. But I guess if they are looking for family, they need a lot of info. They wanted family member’s names. Well crap, I don’t have any of that information.
WAIT! YES I DO! I rummaged through some papers and found the letter my mom sent me a long time ago. I remember it had information in there about my dad. I never finished reading it through because I was upset. I went to the 2nd page and there it was. His name, moms name, sisters name. Perfect. I read the whole page. And she wrote in there that she had is Naval ID card that had his social security number and picture on it, but it disappeared. She thinks my dad found it and threw it out. Jerk.
So I started filling out the family information on the application. I wrote his sisters name down. Then something clicked. I had just started REALLY using Facebook. (I was a MySpace fan) and thought, I NEVER searched his name on Facebook. So I typed it in. Nothing. Figures.
Then I thought, what the hell, I will try his sisters name.
I typed in her name.
Someone popped up.
I started shaking. I remember my mom saying that we looked alike. So I clicked her name hoping to see pictures. The one she had of herself was small. I couldn’t really see it well.
But I looked like her.
OMG I LOOKED LIKE HER!!!!
I screamed for Larry. He came running downstairs. I showed him. I messaged her: (These are actual messages taken from Facebook. Her name has been removed.
I do not know who you are but I am searching for someone.
Was just wondering if you have a brother named John?
Thanks for your time,
That was on November 30th. I cringed. I had no clue what kind of answer I was going to get back. What if it was his sister. What if it wasn’t. I was scared. I stalked my computer all night. No response.
I went to work the next day. At 11:30ish, my phone went off. It was a notification that I had a message on Facebook.
OMG!!! It was her!!
Yes I do have a brother named John. How do you know him?
SHUT UP!! It was hard to continue through work. When I got home, I pulled it up, showed Larry. CRIED CRIED CRIED!!!! I am SO CLOSE! But what if it was all coincidence.
I called my mom. I explained to her what I was doing. She told me to say that I was searching for her. My mom wanted to speak to them first to help soften the blow for me should they not want any contact with me. At 3:06PM on December 1, 2009 I sent:
I did this search for someone and I would just like to ask you a few more questions to make sure we have the right person.
Did you attend Memorial Junior High in Orlando, Florida in the Mid-70′s? If so, do you remember going to school with a girl named Julie ——–? If you know this person could you please call her or text her at 907-###-#### with your number so that she may get in contact with you.
Or let me know of another way that she could get in touch with you.
Holy Crap! I was shaking. Freaking Out.
At 4:38pm I got a response:
No I didn’t go to Memorial but I lived in the same apartment complex as Julie. What I would like to know now is why she is searching for me and Johnny after all these years. She may e-mail me at ———-@comcast.net.
Freaking OUT! Within minutes, I got another message:
I just remembered she had Johnny’s baby and then moved to Alaska so I’m guessing you are my niece.
OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG
Cue the buckets of tears. Streaming down my face. I have found my aunt. I found her. I have family. There is more of me out there.
At 5:06 I sent:
Oh Goodness! I am in shock right now! I never thought that I would actually find someone!
Yes! I am your niece. I have a longer response coming for you but in case you are still online, I want you to know right away.
My mom would like to be able to talk with you before things go farther. She still lives in Alaska but has no internet at home at this time. She said she would call you so you have no long distance charges.
Thanks for answering me back!
At 5: 12 I sent:
I have known since I was little that I had family out there that I didn’t know. I have been searching for approx.. 7 years. I have always come up short though. The only person I was ever able to find was Patricia, and she did not want to point me in the right direction. I then thought that maybe I should search family member names. It was ME that searched for you and messaged you, I just said that my mom was looking for you because I was scared and had NO clue what to say when you replied that you have a brother named John.
I know that there is a possibility that no one would want contact with me, and I am ok with that. I do not want to ruin any families that are formed by my searching. Although, I would appreciate if this is the case, if I could get medical history so that I know what I could be facing along with my children. I have a 7 year old daughter & another one on the way due in June.
I have no clue what else to say! I’m still in shock that I found family! I am excited, happy, & yet scared.
Again, Thank you!
She responded right away and gave me his email address. She later confessed to me that she called him immediately after she put 2 and 2 together. She also said that she hadn’t had her Facebook page for very long. She had made it the month prior because something was nagging at her to make one. So she did.
On the 4th, I received the email I had been waiting my WHOLE life for.
I know that you are probably excited, worried, and scared all at the same time about all this. I understand and feel the same way. Like everything else in life we will get past it and keep going.
It has been 27 years since I last saw you. I have wondered many times where you were at, what you were like, and what you looked like. I am glad that you finally find me. Hopefully I won’t have to wonder anymore.
We can take this slow if that is what you want. I have no problem with that.
Your Mom and I talked for almost an hour. We talked about me, her, and most importantly you. Just wish we could have done this a lot sooner.
I hysterically balled my eyes out. He wondered about me. He cared. He wanted to know about me. I felt whole.
Since 2009, we have talked on the phone a couple of times. I called him from the hospital after I had Vanessa. I am still skittish for some reason. I think I am still afraid of being hurt. We have sent tons and tons of emails. I have saved every single one. He has been amazing. And I have been a terrible daughter. We have not even met yet.
But in 2013, I plan on changing A LOT of things. By a lot, I mean EVERYTHING!