I am not going to lie. I am probably THE biggest procrastinator in the history of procrastination.
I posted my life story of sorts. And I have said on my facebook page, that I have a letter to my father to post. Well, I have it all written, but it has gotten as far as being saved as a draft. I have yet been able to push that publish button.
Fear is taking over.
I keep asking myself WHY I even started this in the first place?
Why did I start this whole series? Why did I put this out there for the world to see? Why didn’t I just keep this all private?
I did this because it wasn’t fair to my dad to have to know where I am and know about me, but yet, I suck and I barely keep in contact with him. After all, this is what I have wanted for so long but yet, I am still slacking.
I am terrible. I am a terrible daughter. He does so much for my children and I, yet I give him nothing in return.
He deserves this. He deserves to have me tell him my thoughts and feelings. Every single last bit of them.
But I haven’t given all of them out.
If the tables where turned, I would want the same thing, but also I would wait forever until they were ready too. I am sure he is willing to wait as long as it takes. But what if I wait to long and then it is too late. What if something happens and I never get to tell him my true feelings. Then I will hate myself forever.
But how do I make myself hit that publish button?