I totally get that a relationship is 100% hard work. Sometimes I feel like I am only in it 50% and that I am cheating my boyfriend out of everything he deserves from me.
I cannot help but feel this way though because of what we have gone through in the past.
I still hold a grudge and I simply cannot forget what was done.
When is it enough? When do I let go of that grudge? or can I ever let go? Will I ever get over it?
For the past few years we have been at each others necks for everything. I am so over it. I am tired of being the blame for everything, regardless if I am or not. If something is my fault then fine, it’s my fault, but if it is NOT my fault, get off me.
I am just tired. Sick and Tired.
I want my happy life back. I understand things are not ideal for us right now with our situation still but I would just like to feel happy.
I am so over anxiety and depression and holding back tears. I want to feel loved and wanted and needed.
I know I am far from perfect but does it really have to be shoved in my face every.single.day.
I love him, I really do, but When is it enough…